Time is standing still, why do I keep on hoping?

Time is standing still.
Four years has past,
yet everything is still the same.
No future, no past.
A shadow moving alone.
No love, no life.
Just trashy thrills now and then.
So young, so old.
Feeling the wind blowing through.
Ready to die, not willing to let go.
A rich life full of nothing.
Just a feeling.
Butterflies in my stomach.
Making a hurricane.
Why am I here?
What shall I do?
I don’t know.
Where do I belong?
I don’t know.
I’m just laying on a raft,
floating wherever it takes me.
Where am I supposed to go?
Who am I to touch?
I feel alone.
I am alone.
Just want to love.
Have someone by my side.
Someone to care about.
Someone to start a new life with.
I know who that someone is.
I love him more than life itself.
Yet he always love someone else.
There is nothing I wont do for him.
Turn the world,
even die for him.
But I’m still sitting here.
At the same place as last year.
And the year before that.
Nothing has changed.
So why would it be any different this time?
Why do I hope so for love?
When I wont get my true love.
Alone, unloved and bruised.
Don’t want this anymore.
Just want to be by your side.
Nothing else matters anymore.
You are the reason I keep on breathing.
You and no one else.
Forever.